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Love takes some amount of time to develop, and while it will hopefully include lust, the two are not interchangeable.

Desperation is scary, and being made to feel afraid is not a fair expectation.

So, tossing away someone simply because they want to take it slow could turn out to be a big mistake. Sadock, MD, notes that getting swept up in romantic desire is not, in and of itself, a bad thing, as long as we don't subject our partner to our fantasies too soon.

"If there's this kind of desperation to get things moving too fast, it just pushes the other person away," says Sadock, a professor of psychiatry at NYU School of Medicine.

This finally resonated with me after I became aware of my tendency to dominate the conversation, particularly on a first date.

In the absence of actual experience with new partners, it is easy for people to see their new partners as possessing ideal characteristics and sharing similar beliefs and values.

Hogging The Conversation A woman in a new relationship expects to be asked questions about her life.

But that expectation gets dashed if her new guy hogs the conversation.

Some people become hurt and let down when their idealized prince or princess charming turns out to be just another imperfect human being, but others find ways to stay connected to their imperfect partners such that their relationship endures and grows with time.

It is a truism that most dating relationships fizzle out into nothing and that only a relative minority will endure.




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Could be you're spending too much time saying way too little - and the endless cyber-chat is knocking the romance straight out of your inbox and into the trash bin. Ask any woman who's ever found herself flicking through her lover's e-mails, and most often she'll give you a good reason for doing so.


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Margarita Levieva started the training of a competitive rhythmic gymnast at the age of 3.